There was a phrase that many people had heard throughout their childhood. “Relationships are 50/50.”. As children growing up, we thought that one partner puts in 50% and the other put in 50% to create the complete 100%. When we became adults and started romantic relationships, we learn that it is not the case.
Relationships take a lot of work. It takes a lot of sacrifices. When looking at the romantic relationships within the Black community, intimacy is taboo or placed in a negative connotation. There is limited viewing of a positive Black relationship in the media that is not linked to someone famous. Many couples look at known Black couples like Jay-Z & Beyonce, Pres. Barack Obama and & First Lady Michelle Obama as #CoupleGoals. Many couples who are in the media do not show the positives of intimacy. We all go by what has been shown in mainstream media by White couples. Black couples’ relationships are dramatized in “reality shows,” which do not portray a relationship in a good light.
So, what does that mean in terms of this discussion of intimacy regarding the black community? The most important thing regarding a relationship is communication. When two partners discuss what they want, I need to establish a connection with their partner in a romantic, intimate, and safe relationship; each person is equal. With the conversation, both parties are expressing their wants and needs. But, there are many relationships where people are afraid to discuss what makes them “tick.” The answer to that dilemma is trial and error. Both parties have to get to a place in their relationship that they can explore things that they had a desire to do and go about it with a clear mind and no regrets.
It is okay to discuss and explore intimacy. It is not always sexual.
Love your partner verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Doing so not only brings the best out of you, but it strengthens your bond as a couple.